Going the Distance to the Last American Afterlife with a Machete

Synopsis

Experience a new dimension in action horror as director Paul W.S. Anderson uses the 3D technology pioneered by James Cameron and Vincent Pace to take movie lovers on a nightmare thrill-ride. It’s been five years since the zombie virus swept across the globe, and Alice (Milla Jovovich) is still traveling tirelessly in search of survivors. When the Umbrella Corporation ratchets up the stakes, an old friend turns up to lend Alice a helping hand. Rumor has it that some survivors have found sanctuary in Los Angeles, but when Alice and friends show up they find the city overrun with zombies, and quickly realize they’ve stumbled into a diabolical trap. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Review

Milla Jovovich really is a great action movie actress and gets underutilized as one. I liked the first Resident Evil very much, but they have gotten less interesting as the series has gone on. Do we really need another Resident Evil film? Does it really need to be in 3D? No, no we don’t. But I do think we need more original, cool action films starring Milla.

Synopsis

Robert Rodriguez brings a new breed of anti-hero to the big screen in this hyper-violent adaptation of the “fake” trailer originally featured in the 2007 double-feature exploitation throwback Grindhouse. Machete (Danny Trejo) is a former Mexican Federale who plays by his own rules, and doesn’t answer to anybody. In the wake of a harrowing encounter with feared drug lord Torrez (Steven Seagal), Machete finds himself in Texas, where the shadowy Benz (Jeff Fahey) offers him the opportunity to make some quick cash by assassinating the unscrupulous Senator McLaughlin (Robert DeNiro). When the job goes awry and Machete realizes he’s been set up, he turns to fierce taco queen Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), heavily-armed holy man Padre (Cheech Marin), and trigger-happy socialite April (Lindsay Lohan) to show Benz that he just messed with the wrong Mexican. But before they can get to Benz, Machete’s gang will have to contend with blade-wielding ICE agent Sartana (Jessica Alba), who never met an adversary she couldn’t flay. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Review

Robert Rodriguez is the man. I love his work. And I love that he made a trailer for a grindhouse film and then made the actual film after it was super popular. I love the premise of this film as well. And I like the cast. I’m not sure that this will be his tour-de-force; It’s more likely to be a fun diversion…a very bloody and violent, fun diversion. But I’ll be at the theatre to support it and Robert and films made in Austin, TX.

Synopsis

Drew Barrymore and Justin Long star in this romantic comedy about a long-distance romance that may be worth fighting for. Garrett (Long) is still nursing the wounds from a recent breakup when he meets Erin (Barrymore), an unflinchingly honest girl with a big talent for bar trivia. Hitting it off immediately, the pair spend a romantic summer together in New York City. It was supposed to be a summer fling, but as fall approaches and Erin returns to San Francisco, the spark is still there. Subsequently dividing his days between working and hitting the bars with best friends Box (Jason Sudeikis) and Dan (Charlie Day), Garrett drops everything whenever Erin calls. The more Garrett’s phone rings, the more his pals begin to suspect that their drinking buddy is taking the relationship a little too seriously. And they’re not the only ones; Erin’s sister, Corrine (Christina Applegate), is keen to ensure that her smitten sibling doesn’t repeat the mistakes of her past, and she makes no attempts to sugarcoat the fact that she disapproves of the coast-to-coast romance. But the heart wants what the heart wants, and as the texting becomes more intense, both Garrett and Erin start to suspect that their summer fling may just be the real thing. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Review

The only thing that makes me think this film will be watchable is the cast. particularly Jason Sudeikis and the awesome Charlie Day. Other wise the plot sounds tedious and predictable…like most romantic comedies. But Drew Barrymore does have some charm, and the supporting cast is funny, so who knows. Maybe it’ll be good. Still, I’ll wait and see it on HBO.

Synopsis

In the aftermath of a job gone awry, an American hitman retreats to the Italian countryside, where he befriends a local priest and strikes up an unexpected romance while awaiting the details of his next assignment. Jack (George Clooney) is lucky to be alive after his Swedish assignment went sour, and he knows that it’s only a matter of time before his luck runs out. Not eager to tempt fate again, Jack arrives in a small Italian town and takes a job assembling a weapon for the mysterious Mathilde (Thekla Reuten). During this uncharacteristically peaceful interlude, Jack befriends kindly clergyman Father Benedetto (Paolo Bonacelli), and connects with pretty local Clara (Violante Placido). But in the process of reaching out for a little human contact, Jack is making himself more vulnerable than ever. Adapted from the novel A Very Private Gentleman by author Martin Booth. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Review

Of all the films out right now, I’d say this is your best bet if you want to see a good film. George Clooney is always charming and interesting, and I like the 70′s style of the film. Plus it’s set in Italy, which is always good. I’d say this one is worth paying to see.

Synopsis

When he arrives on the rural Louisiana farm of Louis Sweetzer, the Reverend Cotton Marcus expects to perform just another routine “exorcism” on a disturbed religious fanatic. An earnest fundamentalist, Sweetzer has contacted the charismatic preacher as a last resort, certain his teenage daughter Nell is possessed by a demon who must be exorcized before their terrifying ordeal ends in unimaginable tragedy. Buckling under the weight of his conscience after years of parting desperate believers with their money, Cotton and his crew plan to film a confessionary documentary of this, his last exorcism. But upon arriving at the already blood drenched family farm, it is soon clear that nothing could have prepared him for the true evil he encounters there. Now, too late to turn back, Reverend Marcus’ own beliefs are shaken to the core when he and his crew must find a way to save Nell – and themselves – before it is too late.

Review

I just don’t find most horror films very interesting. And most of them are also not very scary. I doubt this one will be anything special either. Unless you’re a teenager, you should avoid this film.